Monday, June 03, 2013

The Last Goodbye...!!!

Hello Everyone,

So today I broke up with my boyfriend. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I mean I still care about my ex boyfriend and I love him. We were practically the same person. I just... last Thursday, my family and I went to an amusement park called Knoebels. We've been there a million times and I wanted to share it with Josh and he couldn't go and I was pissed. So we got into this huge fight and I don't really know how to explain but it felt like it was supposed to be our last day as a couple. After we tried to make it work, but it didn't feel right and I wasn't happy anymore. I really thought Josh and I were meant to be together forever. I just, I balled my eyes out when he called me today. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want him to hate me for the rest of his life. He stood to be a good guy until the end, he promised he wouldn't hate me which might seem stupid to some but it meant a lot to me because we had a long relationship and there weren't a lot of bad moments, only good ones. 

I just hope he can forgive me someday. I hope he can realize that what happened today is not his fault. It was never his fault. But it is mine. I just...I couldn't live with myself if I stayed with him and wasn't happy. I just want to cry and cry and cry. Let it all out so I can forget.