Sunday, January 16, 2011

4 is for Quatre!


So today has been one of those days. You know a day that seems like a roller coaster ride. Up, down, Up, down. I swear it felt like it was off to a good start this morning. Then I went to church and talked to some people(who by the way I am still surprised they still talk to me) and then we had a very odd conversation on friendship in Sunday School Class. I hate days that don't seem to have any promise in them. For some strange reason, I'm becoming more and more bummed as the day progresses. I have my moments. Personally I think I am still stir crazy. I haven't been able to go out and do anything. I feel so worthless. Back to today. I drove home today from the church. I need to work on turning smoothly and parking skills. Everything else I am good at. Just a little more practice.

I am still going crazy searching for a job. I feel likes it's impossible. I know its not but right now it feels like no one is hiring. I don't know why. I guess the economy is really bad right now so that doesn't really help one get a job. Tomorrow starts my short-term goal of four to five applications a day. I hope I'll be able to get that many in. All I can do is send resume and cover letter to the respectable employer and then call them and talk to the manager. If I don't get any feedback well then I have to move on. Oh, job searching is so freaking stressful. Stress is bad for my health. There are only so many places a person can apply before you run out of options. What happens when all my options run out? I can't just run away from my problems. I feel like I did that by staying in Fort Myers. Sometimes I feel like it was a mistake. But I can't change the past and I have to accept the path I am on.

On top of all those books that I want to read this year is four different manga series. I make up this goal that I won't start another series until I finish one and then a new one gets shoved in my face. If these books weren't so addicting and easy to read, then I probably wouldn't like them that much. The new series I started yesterday or two days ago was Platinum Garden. I'm so proud of myself. I'm on book three or volume three. It's a really good series.

Does anyone else know how hard life is? I'm an adult and life is oddly stressful and I feel like everything is being rushed at me. I have so much I need to do and if I can't get a job then it won't happen. I'm trying my best but my best doesn't seem good enough. Ugh, why is it so hard? I want to go to college. I ask for help from my family and they tell me to look else where. I didn't expect them to help me. I didn't see it as a free handout. I would of payed them back if they wanted me too. They told me I can't do a online school. I don't see why not. People use online colleges. Why can't I? Am I not good enough for that or something? I don't think someone will care how I got my education as long as I know what I am doing? I'll just have to call a vet's office and ask and prove them wrong. Maybe I can ask online? I hate calling people, almost as much as borrowing books from the library. But I have to do it.

Well that's all for today. Have an Awesome day.
Love Brit

P.S. The Hello of Today is in French.


kewphoto said...

Funny, I don't remember saying "no".